A Part-Time Eeyore

Jordan Nelson: I live in the Panhandle of Idaho and have done so since 1995. Coeur d'Alene was home until it wasn't and now Moscow is. I am a two-time college dropout who did eventually graduate, but – like Tommy Boy – it took me 9 years. I live with the Fair Rebecca who graciously deigned to marry a fool like me over ten years ago and is so much better than me it's not even funny. What she thinks is funny is when I don't know how simple bodily functions work. And when Kramer falls down. I also share a household with five rapscallions (scallawags and hooligans are acceptable alternatives). My in-laws call them "grandchildren." I'm not so sure. I work for a wonderful software company and do my best to answer all of our customer's questions. But before you call me, have you tried turning it off and on again? Oh, and when I write I insert about twice as many commas as necessary. I'm sorry. I really am.